Love Bomb

Based on lies

Not meant to stand the test of time

Pure vanity

A hopeless find

Temporary and untrue

To get me where you wanted to

Ulterior motives

An empty soul

A charlatan

Playing a role

A predator

Chasing the prey that did not know


Death Drive

The death drive, driving me

Driving me home

Teleportation to the dark side

Where my mirror image resides and concocts deviant schemes

My soul shall repent for

Reams of tears to release and unleash

As if from a sheath, a torrent of thundering rain ejects from open eyes

Taking comfort in the pain

Yet I cannot stop this endless stream that is flowing like a river violently raging through

The landscape desolate, barren and cruel

You used,”I love you” like a tool

You used “I love you” as a tool

You did not mean it when you said it

Maybe you were lonely

Maybe you were ready for a change

Maybe you were in love with the idea of love

The motives are sometimes rather strange

When you use “I love you” the way you do

So casually and misconstrued

So recklessly, too easy, monotonous, untrue…

I did know better

…but it was not the excellence of your theatrics that sold me

That particular trait is not something new

It was the length of time and dedication invested

To bring down the boundaries and the walls

To get me to say “I love you” too

…yet it really was not true


Let go…

Clear your mind

From all the stress

It does not matter any more

Let go…

The weight too heavy

The heart too sore

This is nothing to fight for

Release the hold

Introspective me

Breaking my self down

No reason to shy away from the reality

I have to look inward

I must see

no more delusions

no more cognitive dissonance

no more false imagery

no more unconscious existence

Stepping into the light as a conscious being

Impartial to the place

No motivation

No sparks

No chemistry

This place is dead on arrival I see

What I cannot do… is unsee

The confounding wreckage dispersed before me

Strewn everywhere like some wild confetti

Like a charlatan disguising itself as some great glory

That should somehow be magnetizing for me

Instead it is repelling me violently

I refuse this blasphemy